The terrier and I came across a suspicious-looking tree and this is a sort of emergency post to let you know.
Now I will be the first, or maybe the third, to admit that I do not have the world’s most vast collection of gardening experience, but I can say with confidence that a towering fir tree does not appear overnight.
This tree popped up like a mushroom, by a school where we sometimes take walks while we wait for our ninety-three-year-old relative to get a blood test or a brain scan or a twice-yearly physical exam or etc. at the clinic next door.
A giant tall fir tree, overnight.
I was uneasy; Max was intrigued.
Under cover of sun, we edged closer.
I just wish you could have been there–because it was the kind of dangerous mission I know you live for. I know it. Anyway, no one came and arrested us or took us into their space ship, or if they did we don’t remember, so we got a few more fabulous evidential images.
As Robert Frost might say, “How like a tree, how very like a tree.” Except that the limbs are steel rebar and heaven knows what the “needles” are made of. Well okay plastic. And then there was some stuff stuck on the top, sending messages to the polar regions or Mars or AT&T.
We just thought, as gardeners, we should make certain that you know about this, in case these things start appearing for sale at Walmart (another reason to not shop there) or in your lessor-quality plant nurseries.
Max and I were mightily relieved to go home and poke around outside in the garden and try to forget that terrible not-tree. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you– and search online for “cell tower trees” if you want to see more horrific pseudo-lifeforms, including palms and yes even a saguaro cactus…
Now. Just for you, a few real hellebore blooms.