Hello from space

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I write to you today from my vacation in outer space. I’ve been taking lots of pictures.

Here’s a shot from the window as night fell on some of your houses.


Here’s another one. It took some doing to get all this night at once. I see the lights from YOUR  house. Think of all the gardens down there…London, Australia, New York, South Africa, Scotland, Oregon, Texas, Italy, England, Ireland, Kansas…


I must confess that I had a little help from NASA in capturing these photos–but then they have better cameras, and better space-ships. I had to buy my ship used and it has a lot of light years on it and the windows are small. But it’s homey and I reupholstered the captain’s chair in a nice floral fabric that’s stain resistant and matches the power lights (they’re blue).

Max has a very special dog space-chair to travel in. Here he is with his helmet on, safely cruising where no dog has gone before. I have a hard time getting him to buckle up.

Max in his space helmet

The ship is a Garden Traveler 2 (you may remember them, they got a lot of press in 1999). They run on compost and balsamic vinegar and the interior includes a little plant lab where I can grow things. I am experimenting with some plants I found in the Peekia Galaxy when I was testing the Solar Warp system. They said these plants will grow round blue fruits that glow without candles for Halloween, but you know those intergalactic nursery people–they will promise you anything to make a sale.

space plants

The galley area in my ship is small –this is not a luxury craft. I basically have kibble for Max and granola for me, a big water tank and a large bottle of wine. And I have to use my phone for navigation.

provisions and navigation

But we keep busy, and the views are great. Mostly we circle the earth to see how you are all doing:  who’s neglecting their plants, or who is maybe planting shrubs or bulbs, or cleaning the chickenhouse, that sort of thing. (We use a powerful pair of glasses originally made for the Pentagon but don’t worry they are not x-ray equipped so no we are not spying on you in your houses.)

Sometimes we put on our space suits and go outside the ship to look around–we stay attached to the ship with some very sturdy garden twine. There is a lot of  junk out there and I’ve found a few things to use as planters. They tend to include antennas which are good for supporting vines. Once there was a rather nice wicker bench with a sticker that said “Intel Inside” but before I could figure out why it needed a computer brain it got away from me and floated off toward the moon.

It doesn’t rain or snow up here, and it’s bright and warm. But tomorrow, I hear, will be a lovely day back at our garden on Earth, so Max and I are goin’ in…

[If you are very lucky spring will come soon so I will quit writing this sort of stuff.]

Planet Max


About linniew

Unpublished novelist seeks therapy in gardening. Westie assists.
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30 Responses to Hello from space

  1. Roberta says:

    Oh Max, you’re my all time favorite spacedog. I’m glad to see that you bundle up for your travels. And Linnie, I hope my coop was tidy when you went over. I try my darndest to keep up with it. The last image of Max would make a terrific postcard with a nice classic cursive, “GREETINGS” off to one side. I’ve been working on a collection of Baby’s postcards. She has a Hovermat 2000. It’s a little worse for wear but she gets around.

  2. Alberto says:

    You took some amazing pics from up there!
    So you spend the weekend checking on us and our garden from space, with the Dark Overlord of the Universe Max? I hope you couldn’t see I was wearing the saturday knickers on sunday with your super glasses, because I can explain that, ok?

    PS: try downloading iMental from your iPhone, it could be useful during long term space trips… (and wipe that screen for Jobs’ sake!)

    • linniew says:

      It was for you that I mentioned how my Pentagon glasses cannot see through things Alberto. But now that you mention it, was the washing machine broken or what? And my phone screen is reflecting light in that image, not smudged with pizza oil or something like it appears.

      • Alberto says:

        AHEM, not really the washing machine broken. Rudy messed up with weekdays while putting knickers away, we had an argument after that because he thinks the week start un sunday but I believe it starts on monday. Well it doesn’t matter, the most important thing is that you haven’t noticed anything weird with your glasses.

  3. Holleygarden says:

    Hey! I can see my house! 😉 Glad to know someone’s looking down on us gardeners, seeing all the work we put into our little plots of Earth. I’ll try to remember to wave next time you orbit around. Can’t wait to see your new “out-of-this-world” planters!

    • linniew says:

      Hi Holley! I will try to remember to post some pictures later when I get the space junk planted in the garden. Your garden was looking great, by the way. Max and I are back home now, expecting a sunny day here today and some greenhouse gardening too. Also it’s a full moon tonight–maybe time to plant the peas.

  4. I thought that was you and Max I saw through my telescope the other night! You have one adorable space dog. Hope you weren’t able to see through our windows. I’ve been searching for a place to hide the bodies of the houseplants I’ve been slowly killing.

    • linniew says:

      Well Moonbeam I WAS going to ask you about that compost pile I noticed in your living room…

      And here is where I should probably admit that I have NO houseplants. At all. Ever. You would think I watered them with Round-up, the way I can kill houseplants. But really if we were supposed to grow plants in houses then I feel certain houses would have faucets with hoses in every room and drains in the floors and glass walls…

  5. Grace says:

    So I’m thinking you might have been sneaking just a little of the aforementioned wine BEFORE beginning your LAUNCH into this post? LOL

    Those NASA photos are really cool. I might have to (waste more time and) go visit their site.

    Max is adorable as usual. What a cool space dog.

    Thank you for not mentioning what you saw when you flew over my garden. Sikes. I hope you were careful to have Max look away so he wouldn’t faint and fall airborne towards earth or anything.

    Those dang wicker benches…always drifting off to no-man’s land. When will they learn? Maybe it was on, “SA” or “Special Assignment” and would get into heaps of trouble if were involuntarily sequestered back to Earth before the SA was completed, you know?

    (And no I haven’t been sipping wine. This is how I always am.)

    I don’t have any houseplants either and when I took this job, my boss was like, “Since you’re a gardener you can make sure these [indoor!] plants don’t die.” And I’m like, “Why, now aren’t they pretty,” while secretly thinking, “holy shit, I hope my job doesn’t depend on their survival or I’m doomed.” I did water them yesterday though.

    • linniew says:

      Well maybe a sip.

      And now that you mention it, that wicker thing DID seem to be on some sort of planned course of flight– Undercover Wicker. You are so wise about these things Gracie.

      I laughed a LOT at your houseplant dilemma at work. Keep those plants watered. I’ve observed that it’s very difficult to reconstitute dried houseplants if you let the leaves actually turn yellow and fall off. Before that you can sort of unwilt them ever month or so but then you are definitely dancing on the edge.

  6. kininvie says:

    Dear God, wumman….whit in the wee man’s name are ye maundering on aboot noo?

    • linniew says:

      The wee man? Who is the wee man? (Dare I ask?)

      And just because I write from outer space is no reason to freak out, Kininvie m’friend. Don’t you have a little ship parked out by the chicken house someplace too?

  7. David says:

    Love that first photo.

    And the whole rest of this post. 🙂

    Max in his space helmet has the hard-bitten look of a space dog with The Right Stuff!

    Those plants from the Peekia Galaxy look startlingly like our own baby brassicas! Thank goodness there’s some consistency in the universe!

  8. Bridgetdget says:

    I agree with Alberto…the week starts on Monday! I’m shocked that Ireland does’nt look green but I suppose the green has’nt returned after Winter yer. England looks very green in comparison. Max of course steals the show…as always!

    • linniew says:

      Yes I can see the calendars were somehow changed here Bridget but it is too late to change them back. I have this English-printed one in my kitchen right now, something Mr O bought because of the photographs of steam trains, and it starts the week on Monday. My appearance at appointments this year is going to suffer, that’s all I have to say. I could make up a big story about how this change of week arrangement might have happened during the settling of America but I will spare you today after my recent space adventure. Besides I’m trying to get a printer to work with a new cable and I put in the paper and I THINK the ink cartridge is in position but the error light stays on. –So I think I will go outside and pull weeds now. (It doesn’t matter what day it is for pulling weeds.)

  9. b-a-g says:

    I’m sorry to say that it looks like you’ve been mis-sold broccoli seedlings …

  10. cynthia says:

    So you’re who flew over while I was out frantically transplanting before the rain. I waved, did you see? Welcome back to earth.

    Phones do amazing things nowadays, don’t they? NASA could save a lot of money if they followed your example.

    • linniew says:

      Thanks Cynthia–I waved back, and Max barked like mad but you couldn’t hear him.

      It’s probably well that the space program doesn’t navigate by a phone unless they are much better at it than I am.

  11. Alistair says:

    I want a go at this, bladder is not as good as it used to be hope that wont be an issue. Tell Max I am old enough to remember the first dog in space, think it was Russian, also old enough to have forgotten its name.

    • linniew says:

      Our ship is well-equipped Alistair, you would not have a problem traveling in it. I expect you could find a nice used one in Scotland. I’ve heard those first dogs in space didn’t do so well. Max is lucky to travel with me and to have his helmet, which protects him.

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